Battle with Obesity

I don't have a tragic event that started my road to obesity. I've been asked a lot lately, "what made you gain the weight?" My response isn't spectacular: I put on a few pounds then I put on some more. Between college and my 30s I spiraled out of control with my weight. One donut turned into two and half a pizza quickly became a full one.  By the time I was 30 I was deep into the 300s. 

It doesn't matter how you gained the weight. It doesn't even matter how much weight you've put on. It's a struggle. My weight gain affected all parts of my life. I silently suffered from weight based depression and the only cure was to drop the pounds that were hurting me. So much of my body hurt because of my weight. My back, my feet, my ability to be mobile. I never admitted how I felt to anyone so no one around me knew what I was truly going through. I trapped myself in a prison of weight gain. 

I'm thankful that I found a way out. I'm better now and I feel great! I don't feel the shame I suffered through. For me it was through tracking my food with the app LoseIt that I was able to drop 180 pounds. I was able to see how much I was consuming and I didn't have to feel embarrassed by being accountable to another person. I was deeply ashamed by how I looked but I lived in constant fear that I'd be seen as obese. I knew people could see that about me, but I wanted to be invisible. 

If you're suffering emotionally and physically due to your weight I encourage you to seek help. Even if it's an online community of strangers. There's so many people going through what you're going through. The LoseIt community on Facebook is very supportive.  

I was lucky that I found a way out when I did. I was afraid I would die because of my obesity. I had a strong motivating factor in my life: my son. I wanted to be a fit father that could play with him in public. Ride a bike. Go swimming. Forge the woods on nature hikes. 

To those loved ones around me…there's nothing you could have done differently. You loved me even at my heaviest, and I'm thankful you didn't give up on me. If you know someone going through this it's okay to talk to them about it in a supportive manner, but know that your words might not be readily acknowledged. It's hard to be in that prison. It's a struggle everyday knowing that you're not who you want to be. It's hard to wake up feeling defeated before your feet touch the ground. 

Keep going. Keep trying. Find the support you need. If you want someone to talk to I can help as much as I can. Email me at

6 thoughts on “Battle with Obesity

  1. Obesity plagued my wife with disastrous results – heart disease, diabetes, renal failure, two knee replacenents, and two strokes. The key is self motivation and the ability to understand that over eating can be an addiction, only overcome through commitment and hard work. Sadly, my wife died late in 2015, way too young.

    1. Thank you for sharing this. I’m sorry to hear about your wife. I agree. Overeating is an addiction. My mom recently said it best, “food addiction is the hardest one to over come because you’ll always need food in your life.” Sadly too many suffer from this. I know from experience just how hard it is and how easily it would be to go back to old habits. It’s a struggle every day.

  2. I was 263.8 and now am 183.4 I stuggle all the time I need to loose more but I get into funks and no matter what I say to myself I eat stupid so I exercise more to help but dont know how long I can keep up. I DONT WANT THE FAT BACK ON AND DO WANT TO LOOSE MORE. But I get into depression brought on bý myself or get really mean to myself and hurt me by eating. I want to change for good but it is so hard.

    1. It seems like you have the desire to change. It’s all in the mindset. Don’t punish yourself for one meal. Have you tried tracking your food? That helped me stay in reasonable limits without punishing myself. Getting into a funk is normal but staying there isn’t healthy. Have you talked to anyone about this?

      1. I have talked to amyone that would listen and they say if you want it you will do it. But they don’t struggle and dont understand what a food eating problem is like. Thanks for anseeing me back so quick

      2. Ya. It’s not that easy. It’s a struggle and one that sadly doesn’t go away because you still need food. Plus you can’t develop a negative relationship to food because that’s not healthy either. It’s hard. I can totally relate. I wish I could give you a better answer other than I know how hard it is. The way that I’ve worked on it is to just not have the foods I’d binge on in the house. Most of what’s in my house are ingredients so that if I want food I need to make it.

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